THE INDEPENDENT

A New School is Coming to Fort Lewis College

Julian Zastrocky

Monday, April 1, 2024 | Number of views (4211)

Fort Lewis College approved Mountain Middle School's request to build a new building next to the recently built Animas High School location. It approved a 420 million dollar budget to help with the building process. 

Tom Stritikus, president of Fort Lewis College, is slated to release an email tomorrow announcing the decision formally to the student population.

“We are so happy with how our students reacted to the opening of Animas High School on campus,” Stritikus said. “Everyone was so supportive of the high school being built there, and we know that students will be just as supportive of Mountain Middle School students.”

The building would be situated directly next to the Animas High School building and would not interfere with students in the slightest, Stritikus said 

Most of the disk golf course and the bike trails back there will be removed, Stritikus said

When asked, Warren Lieing, a freshman and member of the bike team, flew into an incoherent rage, and the two other bike team members did the same.  

Paige Turner, principal at Mountain Middle School, said the decision to build at Fort Lewis College was a gift from the flying spaghetti monster that they could build in a spot like the Fort Lewis College campus.

Mountain Middle School has been expanding for years now, but we have grown too big, said Turner.

Construction will begin sometime in June 2024 and will be finished by 2034, Stritikus said.

Jenny “Skrew” Witya, a sophomore and disk golf Youtuber, was conflicted about the middle school being built.

“On the one hand, I want these students to succeed and get a good education,” Witya said. “But with the removal of the course, I have nowhere to record my videos.” 

Paul Ingurleg, a sophomore at FLC, said he supports building a middle school on campus.

“We need to ensure that young people are given a chance in higher education,” Ingurleg said. What better time to start helping them than middle school?” 

Another senior student, Joy King, said there are better ideas than building a middle school on campus. 

“I like this about as much as a mosquito in a party of vampires,” King said.

FLC students will know everything at the end of this article because APRIL FOOLS. There are no indicators that another school is coming to campus, this article is a joke! You just got pranked!


 

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